Posts Tagged ‘Jan Moran Neil Blog
Home is Rome
Blog 25 – Home and Rome: Every bi-month Jan Moran Neil tells an intentional porkie pie. This bi-month wins you four Creative Ink handout sheets …
My home resembles the Forum: dust and dirt, decay and a mere shadow of its once glorious self.
On Monday morning this shell was unusually quiet. The decorators failed to pitch up. On making enquiries, I find that the decorator who speaks a little English ‘has a big fever’.
I have been waiting for a few days now for the ‘big fever’ to pass over and my home is a patchwork of Cornish cream and a 90s Regency striped navy blue. This is week 10 in Knotty Green.
It’s also bang in the middle of Phase 2 of ‘Dear John’ rehearsals and I fret when an actor has to cancel and have bad dreams that they come down with big fevers on autumnal filming weekends. Master Sound Advice (Tech Director) has told me to steel myself for some trials. Filming is a long process and Ms Juke Box (Set Designer) and Ms Paint our Faces (a make up artiste who wafted in from Luton Heaven airport and volunteered her services) are sourcing the last of the props.
The porkie pie last bi-month was that Creative Ink for Writers’ classes start again on Tuesday 11th October (Get Inspired) and Thursday 13th October (Get that Book). I set the digits wrong. A few places left still on each course so email me and I will send details if you are interested.
This coming Friday 30th September Pat Sentinella and I will be reading from her collection, “Dear John, Dear Anyone …’ at the Beaconsfield Library/11.00am. I think they are doing refreshments too.
When I returned from the gym (yes, I do) at lunchtime today there was the splendid sight of three white builders’ vans. The decorator had just arrived and I told him I thought he had re-emigrated to Poland. He said no, just a fever. I empathised whilst running through a list of ‘snags’ and he said – not so bad – ‘twas ‘hay’ fever’.
Hey ho. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Well, not on Mondays obviously.
Flash Fiction at the Women’s Institute
Blog 15 – Flash Fiction at the Women’s Institute. Spot Ms Paige Turner’s intentional fib for a free glass of bubbly.
No-one got the free glass of bubbly last week. Dave McLurcan posted that there is no UK second class postage but then Dave McLurcan – an actor with my A-One Theatre company in the eighties – has spent too long doing gigs in Fuengirola to know that of course we still have second class postage. Dave McLurcan had a scorchingly sexy way of singing David Bowie’s Space Odyssey and he probably still does out there in Fuengirola. Although sometimes I do feel like Major Tom with this blog. Does Ground Control actually exist?
So the free glass of bubbly is still up for grabs at the Creative Ink Publishing Book Launch of Patricia Sentinella’s collection Dear John, Dear Anyone …on Thursday 16th June at the Fitzwilliams Centre, Beaconsfield at 12.15pm: free cheese, biscuits and coffee, a few poems and questions from the floor. Patricia’s book will be on sale for £7.99. Lucy Cork at the Bucks Examiner says ‘I was gripped from page one’ so come along and have a good time. http://beaconsfield.buckinghamshireadvertiser.co.uk/
Keep those Dear John missives coming in for the Creative Ink Publishing competition. The entry fee of £5 goes directly to the British Heart Foundation and the local Hearts & Souls and we are making money for them already.
Creative Ink for Writers classes are brimming over with words and writers and I recently had a party of a day teaching Flash Fiction to the local Women’s Institute. Believe me, those ladies can really rock …
I’m teaching an Adult Learning day – Scriptwriting – on Saturday 11th June at Beaconsfield so call 0845 045 4040 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 0845 045 4040 end_of_the_skype_highlighting if you would like a place.
www.janmoranneil.co.uk
Bread Pudding Days
Blog 8 – Bread Pudding Days …
Fiction is a fusion of truth and lies …
This bi-month there are no porkie pies …
For Muriel 10.6.22-14.2.01
With love.
Bread Pudding Days by Jan Moran Neil
On soggy days
when the rain spits
my mother’s house is filled
with the warmth of cinnamon sticks,
rich dried fruit
and softly sifted sugar.
She folds and wraps our words:
- the bargain cost of my orange gloves
- the price we paid for our lost loves
- our woeful tales of wicked hate
- our splendid plans to be great.
All are measured, sieved, considered
for their mixed worth
baked into something sturdy,
crusty, spongy and deeply palatable.
And in that cooking fragrance
- the weight and varied textures
touching half remembered edges -
my mother’s syllables and smiles stretch on:
a balm against the greying bits,
a refuge against the rain which spits.
Master Mind and The Nature of Sins
Blog 2 – by Ms Paige Turner – posted every other Monday
(She tells one intentional fib on every blog – see if you can spot ‘The Porky Pie’. The prize for the first correct emailed answer this week is a free DVD to the value of £10 …)
Bless Mr A. Brick who said that my being no spring chicken must be the intentional fib. I was drawn to giving Mr A. Brick a freebie 1000 word assessment – last week’s prize – but I think he was just buttering me up. A number of gentlemen seemed to think that I couldn’t have possibly sold men’s ties. Why? And it’s true that decimal coinage was introduced in February 1971 but we Woolworths’ girls had to switch over at the end of 1970.
So the winner of my first blogged and intentional fib was Ms Louise Norton for coming in minutes after my blog went on air. Never made a home made chocolate biscuit in my life. Well done, Louise who is writing her autobiography – ‘Dancing around Life’. I had scores of emails – thank you so much. But if you comment at the bottom of my blog, justice is seen to be done and I get brownie points.
I was a brownie in Croydon for only six weeks. I was a gnome: a seriously depleted group of three as every girl wants to be a fairy. After six weeks, I got my uniform and our sixer promptly left. I thought I should immediately get a seconder’s stripe – I was next on the list. What did they do? Fly in a pixie and made her a sixer. That’s life, folks. Whenever you think you’re on the brink of success, they fly in some canny elf else to scoop up your prize.
On to prizes. The prize this week for spotting the intentional fib is a free DVD – to the value of £10 – of ‘The Deadly Factor’ – my play which was performed by Creative Ink for Actors last summer at Barn Hall, Amersham.
There are seven sins. In order they are: Pride, Covetousness (Greed), Wrath, Envy, Sloth, Gluttony and Lechery (Lust). The scenario in my play is that seven actors ‘get into their characters’ shoes’ and as they prepare for their role, they progressively become more deadly. There is a recording contract for the deadliest of them all – and at each performance there is a different ending, unknown to even the real actors themselves. It all set up a jolly good discussion as to which is truly the deadliest of them all and I would be interested to hear your views and why – PLEASE COMMENT AT THE BOTTOM OF MY BLOG. If you go to the site Creative Ink for Actors on Facebook you can become a member and watch our developments posted there along with production photos by the delectable Miss Publicity.
‘The Deadly Factor’ was our eighth production and if some other fairy wins this week’s prize you can always purchase a copy from me and know that your tenner will be going to Project ‘Educating Joy’. Joy is a four year old friend of mine who lives in the Cape townships. We have almost enough money to educate Joy for a year so please purchase a copy.
Look – I know I promised to introduce Master Mind this week but Miss Connect emailed me and said, “Paige, keep this snappy. Less is more.” And I always do what Miss Connect tells me to or I am in danger of pressing all the wrong buttons which happens to be one of my signature dishes.
So alas and alack, you will just have to wait until the next bi-monthly blog posted every other Monday to discover who Master Mind, the delayed character is …
Miss Trial (who always says that justice must be seen to be done – so post your comments on my blog site in case you didn’t get that) and Mr Red Hat are bustling in the wings waiting for their entrance and I must now go! Miss Tea Tree Oil is hovering in my driveway with depilatory wax as I speak …
Hello Chickens or The Importance of Tight Foundations
Blog 1 by Ms Paige Turner
Hello, Chickens or The Importance of Tight Foundations
(She tells one lie on every blog – see if you can spot ‘The Porky Pie’. The prize for the first correct emailed answer each week is a free assessment – up to 1000 words – of your emailed writing …)
I spent the morning watching the polish dry on my toenails, basted a chicken and put it in the oven. I forgot to apply a base coat.
I would like to introduce the first of a plethora of characters: my niece – let’s call her Miss Connect. Miss Connect is into the business of marketing small businesses via websites and has connected my blog from my website to her Box of Blogs. She said a blog was A Shop Window, although it might effectively be called A Public Diary.
I know there is absolutely no virtue in being un-technological. In 1970 when I was selling men’s ties at Woolworths I had to learn to switch to decimal coinage. I’m now just about switching into my menopause and I’m switched on to modern technology – and for fear of Blogging it to Death – here is some news of my professional activities.
There are several branches to my creative bow: Creative Ink for Writers, Creative Ink for Actors and Creative Ink Publishing. This week I will focus on
Creative Ink for Writers – which was established in 2000.
I run two creative writing courses each academic term on a Tuesday and a Thursday morning at the Fitzwilliams Centre, Beaconsfield: Get Inspired – which this term is exploring Familiar or Unfamiliar Faces in Familiar or Unfamiliar Places, subtitled – Let’s Face It. The Tuesday morning faces are delightful but no more delightful than the ones in my Thursday morning group who attend the course: ‘Get That Book out of You’ – for those writers wanting to tackle a bigger project. You can come and taste a class and my homemade chocolate biscuits any time for free if you book a seat. I never run over twelve writers as twelve writers are as much as any one tutor can handle at a time. And how lovely these writers are to handle. Many of the writers attending my classes over the years have contributed to local and national magazines – some even publishing their own anthologies or novels with the help of my Red Auto Correct I include up to 20,000 words assessment in the termly fee and I purport to be the fastest, best and most competitively priced assessor around.
I also write. My last play: ‘The Deadly Factor’ has just been published by New Theatre Publications www.plays4theatre.com. Seven actors are vying for a recording contract with a major producer. The problem is that the seven actors are preparing to play the seven deadly sins and progressively become nastier as they ‘make up’. Which is the deadliest of them all? Well, keep reading my blog and you will find out. But more on sins later …
Watch out on my next blog for news of another feather in my tree: Creative Ink for Actors which has developed from the embryo stage in 2002 to full blown productions and films. Since its inception, many of the delightful young actors and actresses have had babies which do get in the way a bit of productions: Isabella and Freddie, Elise, Saffie and Jacob. In fact some actresses have been fully blown pregnant during rehearsals, explaining why a number of my characters are about to give birth.
Talking of babies, roast chickens like all creative people and projects need child minding so the oven calls. My beauty therapist – let’s call her Miss Tea Tree Oil – told me that from menopause and thereafter one should never look at one’s face in a magnifying mirror with one’s spectacles on. Alas, my days of being a spring chicken are over. Miss Tea Tree Oil also said that not putting a base coat on your toenails before polish is a cardinal sin and that foundation garments are vital.
Thus, with relief, have we come full circle which is such a good place to be and my blessed blog has been founded. I’m happy to publicise your websites on my blog and/or introduce you as a character if you give me work. Until next week then when I shall discuss The Nature of Sins and introduce Master Mind …
Ms Paige Turner aka Jan Moran Neil – www.janmoranneil.co.uk
N.B. Winners of Ms Paige Turner’s ‘Porkie Pie’ competition must email words within a month.
